In the past few months, I have discussed with some of my friends or acquaintances about commitment. I have had people expressing their fear of being unable to commit or fear of their loved ones not being able to commit. Before we proceed further, lets ask ourselves, what does commitment mean to us? And how do we stay committed? – This brought me to carry out an informal research.
I posted these questions and received a range of responses which intrigued me. In this blog, I will be sharing some common themes I had identified. The purpose of this blog is to expand our perspectives of commitment, and hopefully help those who are feeling lost out there. Let’s go!
The Cambridge Dictionary defines commitment as 1) a promise or firm decision to do something 2) willingness to give your time and energy to a job, activity, or something that you believe in or 3) something that you must do or deal with that takes your time. However, there appears to be a misconception of what commitment is to some of us. When I had posted this question, I had several responses like “ I think, I wouldn’t be able to answer that because I am not in a relationship” , “If I had a partner, I will be able to commit” or “Commitment is being loyal to your partner”. These responses suggest that some of us perceive commitment to be a romantic relationship. As defined by the dictionary above, “willingness to give your time and energy…to something you believe in” sits well for these responses. However, the responses also seem to depict a rather narrow perspective.
On the other hand, I also received responses such as “having a goal in life and doing everything within your means is how you stay committed”, “My job is my commitment. I work daily and have goals to meet every day at work. Planning allows me to stay committed “or “Family is commitment. We work hard every day to build a family, provide food and shelter for our loved ones. We stay committed to them”. These responses sit well with the definition “a promise to do something” and “willingness to give your time and energy to a job that you believe in”. Again, these responses also seem to have a narrow approach.
Personally, commitment means loyalty towards myself and my goals. Commitment should not always be about sacrifices, adapting or conforming, but also about self-care and self-love. I fell like I should be commitment to something I set my mind on, only because I want to and not because I need to. These responses that I have shared come from people across the life span, wearing different hats in their daily lives- Son/Daughter, Mother/Father, Friend, Employer/Employee etc. We have different roles to play in our lives. Each role may require a certain commitment. However, it is critical to understand that commitment comes in different shapes and sizes, thus keep a wide perspective what commitment is. Note, be happy!